Processing through emotions
Throughout writing I have been beginning to realize a few things that is important to me in the writing process. Things that are helpful and things that are not, with anything it is important to know yourself enough to recognize what you need.
For me what I need is acceptance without feeling the need to explain myself. This book has been a long deep wound that I am dissecting bit by bit and it fucking stings. More than I originally thought it would. First and foremost I need to process it through myself and having to explain myself and talk through things is not how I best work through things. How I have been somewhat successful at talk therapy is beyond me. It is easier to first accept it and then slowly begin to process each piece which is almost always followed by bouts of self-reflection. Through that self-reflection, the last thing I need is to talk it out which almost always leads to explaining myself as if something about the situation was in need of fixing. I feel as though explaining myself to those who do not exactly understand is like pouring more salt in the wound that already stings like a mother fucker.
The more I am writing the more I connect the dots which is an interesting thing to recognize. Processing emotions in your own way is not a bad thing, for me it is easier and less stressful. I know my truth, my family knows my truth and that is all that matters. Throughout these past six months I have fully let go of this need to have everyone understand me. Not everyone will and that is okay. Letting go of that is a really freeing feeling and throughout writing this book I am finding the importance of that. I don't need to explain myself all the time nor do I need everyone to understand me. This is who I am and my story is my story which should be enough.
You are allowed to process your emotions in the ways that work best for you. For me it is explaining to those who understand, those that have either walked the same path or who has walked it beside you.
For me what I need is acceptance without feeling the need to explain myself. This book has been a long deep wound that I am dissecting bit by bit and it fucking stings. More than I originally thought it would. First and foremost I need to process it through myself and having to explain myself and talk through things is not how I best work through things. How I have been somewhat successful at talk therapy is beyond me. It is easier to first accept it and then slowly begin to process each piece which is almost always followed by bouts of self-reflection. Through that self-reflection, the last thing I need is to talk it out which almost always leads to explaining myself as if something about the situation was in need of fixing. I feel as though explaining myself to those who do not exactly understand is like pouring more salt in the wound that already stings like a mother fucker.
The more I am writing the more I connect the dots which is an interesting thing to recognize. Processing emotions in your own way is not a bad thing, for me it is easier and less stressful. I know my truth, my family knows my truth and that is all that matters. Throughout these past six months I have fully let go of this need to have everyone understand me. Not everyone will and that is okay. Letting go of that is a really freeing feeling and throughout writing this book I am finding the importance of that. I don't need to explain myself all the time nor do I need everyone to understand me. This is who I am and my story is my story which should be enough.
You are allowed to process your emotions in the ways that work best for you. For me it is explaining to those who understand, those that have either walked the same path or who has walked it beside you.
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